One of my goals with choosing Sénégal to study abroad was to avoid a study abroad experience spent solely or even primarily (ideally) with other Americans. Thus far, it has been harder than I expected. I spend a good bit of time with my Sénégalese host family, and having gotten a taste of the homestay experience, I would have it no other way. However, as far as other social interactions the other Americans in the program are the natural, comfortable choice as far as friends. It seems awkward and rude to always be asking our host siblings to take us places, and equally so to spend time with them and their friends. Perhaps it would be different if they specifically invited us, but that hasn’t been the case so far. In the last couple of days, we have just started to regularly talk to our host siblings. They didn’t have that initial interest us being foreign or different, because this family has had many foreign students, so it took more time than I expected to break the ice. Still, I don’t expect to all of the sudden become a regular part of their social lives.
So, in order to really “make friends” with other Sénégalese our age, we need to find a way to meet some in a socially accepted and safe way. As of now, I’m kind of coming up blank on how to do this. Also, I’m questioning my original expectation of being able to create real, meaningful friendships in the time I have here. The language barrier is the first obvious challenge, but beyond that it’s hard to come to definitive conclusions about social interactions in a different culture. For example, when I’m discerning who is really a “friend,” whose standard am I using to determine how friends act, and the expectations of said friendship?
Beyond social differences, there are also economic motivators for getting to know an American. It’s not really possible distance yourself from that part of your identity, and the connotations of wealth that accompany it. Some people are obvious in asking for influence or financial aid, but others take a more subtle route. We’ve been warned about Sénégalese seeking friendships and even more dangerous, relationships, for their own financial gain. While I realize this reality, the accompanying suspicion is distasteful to me, and not fair to the Sénégalese with good intentions. Actually, this issue of judging character is universal, but I feel comfortable trusting my judgement when interacting in English, in a culture familiar to me. It’s completely different here where I know that it’s more probable that I’ll be taken advantage us, and it’s much harder, and sometimes practically impossible, to tell what is fair treatment.
Honestly, I think I’ve concluded that I don’t really have enough time to “integrate” into the Sénégalese culture. The program is designed to dig as deeply as possible into the Sénégalese culture, but even then, really we’re still just looking and trying to understand. How much is it possible to change your life outlook and cultural bias? And if the American bias cannot be shed, then what does it mean to “integrate” into a society? Surely, it’s possible to become at least moderately comfortable with daily life and language usage, but is this “integration?” I think of it similarly to the difference between sympathy and empathy. It’s possible to observe and understand another culture, but does one ever really know another culture in the sense of a shared worldview? So, thus far, I have many more questions than answers, but perhaps this glimpse into the complexities of cultural exchange is an important part of what I’m here to learn.
Love to all,
Mel
MEL!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI miss you! We had Friday dinner last night and I was sad. It's just not the same without you and Ben.
I think it's really interesting that you say Senegalese people might make friends with you for economic reasons, and that children beg you for money on a daily basis. It's something I wouldn't have expected, but I guess living in America the way we do is so comfortable that we forget that the world is, in general, a poorer place.
Having been abroad (though in more english-speaking areas and not for as long), I know how hard it must be to make friends with the local people. I'm sure that as your French gets better things will change. Are there any Senegalese people in your school/classes?
I'm so glad to be able to know how you're doing and what your thought process is throughout this wonderful experience for you. It makes me feel like I could actually be talking to you, even though you're far away.
Miss you lots!
~Jillian
Hi Mel,
ReplyDeleteI think it's needless to say that you're having a very unique experience compared with most students that travel abroad. It's too bad that your host family has had bad experiences in the past with foreign students, but I am confident that you will overcome any bad perceptions of foreign students that they might have, being the lovable and kind person that you are.
Honestly, when I think of "integrating into a culture" I think of marriage. So, please don't do that Mel! (Unless you meet Mr. Right, but even then you better come back because we all miss you!) So integrating into the Sénégalese culture might be a little difficult considering the time you will be there, but as for forming meaningful relationships with the people there, you have plenty of time! I have had a twenty minute conversation with someone I only knew marginally well that completely transformed my view of them, and of myself. Just think how many twenty minutes you have left, billions! So don't give up hope, Mel, God's looking out for you. :)
And I will tell you a funny story in my next comment, something to look forward to in the next thirty minutes.
Love,
Maureen
haha, Mo, well it's definitely not on my agenda to get married here!! phew. now that we got that cleared up, I think you're right. I've actually met more Senegalese students since I wrote this post, and with some slightly revised expectations, I think I can make some friends.
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement!!
Love,
Mel